Well, I’m back 🙂 I finished my 50 000 words for National Novel Writing Month with a day to spare, took a couple of days off, and am ready to get back to my regular writing routine. And to start it off…yesterday I got an interesting email from a colleague with some thoughts on the about the perception within the support community that it’s important to encourage intellectually disabled adults to engage in “age-appropriate” activities. It got me thinking.
Content Note: Ableism, infantilization, double standardsImage Description: Art supplies arranged to make a square – paints in tubes make up top of the square, with pencil crayons in a box underneath to complete the right side and half the lower lower side, and markers and crayons to make up rectangle to complete the square.
I’ve been lucky enough to see agencies wrestle with this idea, and come out on the side that if intellectually disabled adults find joy in an activity that isn’t “age-appropriate”, there’s nothing wrong with it, but apparently it’s still an issue for some people. I can see reasons why it’s a concern – intellectually disabled adults tend to be infantilized by society (and even by agencies) as it is, and why would staff want to encourage behaviour that feeds that dynamic?
But, as a society, we’re reasonably tolerant of non-disabled adults who choose to engage in “non-age-appropriate” activities. Comic Con conventions are full of adults who love to play dress-up (and their costumes are awesome, by the way). Plenty of adults collected Beanie Babies when they were the rage. I love to play with Lego, and doesn’t everyone have a favourite Disney cartoon?
And, as my colleague suggested, when non-disabled adults draw we call them artists; when intellectually disabled adults colour, we label their interest in art “non-age-appropriate” and take the crayons away.
Intellectually Disabled Adults are…Adults
I have a friend who collects knives. I don’t get the appeal. But I’m not interested in telling people what their interests should be (unless pursuing those interests is harming others), whether it’s a very “grown up” interest like collecting the labels off of wine bottles or whether it’s making window decals using a kit (which I used to do). I’d like to think that most adults feel the same way about other adults with whom they associate. But even though I think there’s increasing awareness that (gasp!) intellectually disabled adults are adults too and should have the right to choose their own interests, regardless of how “age-appropriate” they are. there are still some problematic attitudes about the whole business.
It’s a double standard. Especially so in light of the fact that while we insist that intellectually disabled people have “grown up” interests, we all too often don’t acknowledge that they’re grown-ups in other life spheres:
- We don’t provide comprehensive relationship training and sexual safety education
- There’s still not nearly enough education about self-advocacy skills and talk about why they’re important
- People still don’t have much control when it comes to their services and who provides them.
These things aren’t constants across all agencies, of course. Some agencies are doing a fine job with relationship training and sexual education, and are making great strides with self-advocacy. And Ontario’s transformation of services over the last few years has been all about giving people more control over services.
However, it’s important that we as support people get our collective heads on straight on whether we want be a culture that supports all the adult rights of intellectually disabled adults, whether we’re going to continue on this path where we look at them as children (which is not only unfair to the people we support, but sends a message to society that it’s okay to do so as well), or whether we’re going to go between both points of view, picking and choosing when we view intellectually disabled people as “adults” according to when it’s comfortable to do so.
The last option isn’t acceptable, in my opinion. We have to go one way or the other.
And don’t we all know which way is the right way to go?