I thought that it was probably time to post an update on the chronic pain that I’ve been having in my left leg (my weak leg) since last January. After an MRI showed that there was nothing in my thigh that should be causing any pain, and my GP admitted that she was stumped, we decided to do what we probably just should have done in the first place: have a physiotherapist investigate.
Back to Physio
There are a number of physiotherapists in my town, but physiotherapy through the hospital is covered under the province’s medical program. There’s a waiting list, of course, but my leg wasn’t really bothering me at the time, so being on a list wasn’t a hardship. My name came up about a month ago for a block of appointments, and I’ve now been to three sessions.
Some background: I still fall every now and then, especially in winter when snow and ice make the sidewalks difficult to navigate. Generally, I’m much more likely to fall when I’m tired because my toe tends to drop on my weak leg and I’m not as careful about making sure that I lift my leg enough that it clears the ground. When my toe catches the ground, I pitch forward, and when I can’t right myself in time, I fall. Other stroke survivors will know what I’m talking about.
I don’t think much about it when I fall because I usually don’t hurt myself, I’m able to get up without assistance, and I just continue on. The people around me are much more upset than I am.
In fact, until my new PT started talking to me about falling during my first session with her, I had totally forgotten that last year, at New Year’s, I slipped on an icy patch in Dad’s driveway and fell. By moving my muscles and figuring out what hurt, she was able to figure out that it was likely this fall that had damaged my leg and that was causing the muscles to be so irritated now. She gave me some exercises to do at home and said that we’d talk more on my next visit.
The exercises helped, and she assigned some more the next week. But she had some other physiotherapy goals in me.
Surprise! I Need to Learn How to Walk.
She had me do what she called “squat walks” on a bar track walk unit (see picture), so that I could support myself using my right hand. She wanted me to have both legs slightly bent at all times. And she wanted me to walk putting my left foot on the ground heel-to-toe, not trying to bring it out-and-around to avoid catching my toe.
Heel-to-toe is how non-strokies walk, apparently.
She told me later that I had a death grip on the rail during that first walking session, because squat-walks involve putting much more weight on my weak side than I’m used to. Apparently I don’t put much weight on my left side, even after 15 years, because my brain still tells me that my left side is unstable and that I will fall, even though my left side can take much more weight than I believe.
So I can actually walk in a much more of a balanced way. I’ve just never tried to do so, because my brain’s been telling me that I’ll fall (not that I’m conscious of this; I just try something, feel waaaaay too off-balance and stop).
During our next session, she added having me walk backwards, toe-to-heel. *This* was hard. I’d get my heel back and my toe on the ground…and instead of being able to put my heel flat on the group, like my PT instructed, my heel would turn out, away from my body, and I couldn’t get it to turn back. This has gotten easier, but it reminds me of the time in my post-stroke Saturday morning ballet class when I raised my left foot to do the demonstrated barre combination…and it just sat there, raised. It was like I’d overloaded the neural pathways to the point where even moving wasn’t an option anymore.
My PT and I have talked about how rehab right after a stroke is about getting people minimally functional again. The people at Penetanguishene General Hospital were happy that I got any function back in my weak arm at all. They weren’t disappointed that they couldn’t get my hand to lay flat in the (brief, in the grand scale of things) time that I was there. I walked out of Ottawa Rehab Centre using a straight cane, and people had done as much balance work with me as they could in the (again, relatively brief) time I was there, but we didn’t work on the finer things that we’ve talked about in this run of physio:
- How people move their hips when they walk
- How wide people place their feet when they walk
- How people do everything involved with walking without looking at their feet to make sure that they’re doing it properly
There’s much more to walking than we think, and my PT said to me, “Babies do it all naturally. But when you’re older, you need to learn it all.”
A Thought About Stroke and Recovery Time Limits
I’ve never really thought, despite what I’ve read over the years, that there’s a concrete time cap on recovering function after a stroke. My PT has confirmed that the period is much longer than anyone has previously thought, and that’s good to know. I’m fine with myself any way that I am. But it’s nice to know that 1) My body and brain are capable of more than I thought of and 2) There are things that I can do at home, once this run of physio ends, to keep seeing how far I can get. There are even rails on the walls in my apartment building to use.
And hopefully my leg won’t give me the trouble that it did last winter.
Work has been very busy lately so I haven’t been able to be here as much as I’d like. But here are some things that are in the hopper:
A blog on the inquest into Connor “LB” Sparrowhawk’s death.It’s important to me that I do a really good job on this one, so I’m taking my time and trying to think what the best way is to to talk about my feelings on this. But it is forthcoming.
Internalized Ableism Sparked by a discussion with reader Shannon Barnes, I’m trying to put together my thoughts about how damaging it can be when people that society is encouraged to regard as role models when it comes to disability advocacy have ableist attitudes…especially ones that insist on airing these attitudes publicly.